In this PsychCentral article, I share my perspective on how to think about New Year’s Resolutions in a more self-compassionate way, and how self-compassion is a form of unconditional self-esteem: “It is an understanding that you are worthy of love and acceptance as you are right now; no matter how many wrinkles you have, how much you weigh or what your body composition may be. It is inherently stable: you don’t have to earn love or hustle for worthiness. You are deserving of it right now.”
In this article on PsychCentral, I share my perspective on the very common idea that self-compassion is about letting yourself off the hook and having no self-discipline. “Shinraku likened self-compassion to being a “good-enough parent”: a parent who’s kind and gives their kids boundaries. ‘A good-enough parent doesn’t just let their child eat ice cream and play video games all day every day; they know that indulging them in that way would actually not be compassionate or kind. It would be harmful.’”
I was recently interviewed for this article in PsychCentral about how self-compassion can help in quieting the inner critic. I also shared my perspective on how “our harsh self-talk is actually an alarm that indicates we’re facing something scary. … If harsh self-talk is an alarm, your fear is the fire, Shinraku said. ‘We get so caught up in how loud and harsh the sound of the alarm is, that we do not attend to the fire that’s burning—the fear and suffering that require our attention and compassion.’”
At last month’s self-compassion circle, we focused on the group’s challenges with self-criticism at work. I wanted to talk about this topic because I had noticed that a lot of people have intense self-judgment in this area of their life.